Thursday, April 20, 2017

Ten - Seventy Day Notice to Quit Being a Dumbass

I'm struggling not to hate people lately.  My best friend is going through the same period in her life, so our texts (if screenshot) would look more like a mafia hit list.

For those of you who don't know, I'm a landlord in the spare time that I really don't have.  I normally have great luck with my renters... until I don't.  Usually happens when I am trying to help someone down on their luck out.  Everyone who is a landlord will tell you there are two types of renters:  the ones that are AMAZING and pay on time, with little to no contact because everything is sunshine and rainbows, and then there are ones that make you want to make a lampshade out of their face and use their eye sockets for tealight holders.  You know all their business, because it's basically like stepping in dog shit.  It gets tracked all throughout your life.

Anythisbitchhasmademecrazy, I am currently dealing the the latter of the two.

The list could really go on and on.  It's like a Baby Boy, Black Snake Moan, and What's Love Got To Do With It had a baby.  And that baby got pregnant.

Everyone's all EVICT THEM.  Well, if you aren't a landlord that sounds perfect.  Little known fact, although you can drag a bitch off an airplane... you can't drag a worthless ass out of your own property that you and you alone are financially responsible for.  You have to give Notices to Quit.  Examples:  Five Day Notice to Quit Not Paying Rent, Ten Day Notice to Stop Making Meth in the Bathtub, Ten Day Notice to Not Move Felons into the house,  Ten Day Notice to Get Rid of the 56 chickens, Ten Day Notice to Not Procreate More Lowlifes.

You have to give people the chance to stop breaking the Lease Agreement that they signed and initialed on each page, because apparently a signature agreeing to act fucking right, means they might still not understand that it's going to be required of them to fucking act right.

So if anyone needs me, I'll be over here tryin' to get my Love & Light On... and drinking copious amounts of wine.